the last 2 days.

So I haven't kept up as much as I should. its been interesting 2 days.
first off..i'm starting to feel better. I'm not looking at my phone as much and I'm starting to feel as if I've dodged a major bullet with Tony. There's a lot of drama going on with that group of people whom will become his new roommates. That's all I want to say because I don't want to ruin the mood i'm in.

I'm actually looking forward to him moving out. My first weekend with him away was emotionally self destructive and I couldn't handle that. But now. I'm really to give him up and move on. I'm done focusing on him, I'm done always putting him first. He's want to be a big boy and his own man then fine. He'll grow and he'll grow with bryant. I hope and wish them the best, but i'm so ready to just live my life and focus on me.

I'm still more angry about him then anything else. I still have those moments of wanting his attention, but it's becoming less and less.

I'm just focusing on what I should do with the little mad money i'm getting after my tax return comes in. i'm taking 300 bucls/ if I get it before march i'm definitely pre-ordering Mass Effect: Andromda . That's all i really want. I am also going to try and do something active. Like go to New york. Maybe go see a show.

I need to continue to focus on myself. I find it so interesting that my depression and self hatred has turned to anger and resentment towards him. I want him to go. I don't look at him in the same way as I use to.

I use to look at him as he could do no wrong, that he's beautiful regardless of whatever flaws he says he has. I would have loved him forever.

I don't anymore, I look at him  and all I see is someone who lost out at a great guy. I'm a good person and I offered him comfort and love which he didn't want. So fuck him.

I do hope for the best for him, but he not my concern anymore. let bryant deal with him.