The David I dreamed of being.

I've always had this fantasy about what I would look like and the type of person I would be. I remember watching the movie Hard to Kill with Steven Seagal. How he was nearly killed and was in a coma for a few years to wake up a few years later and the movie Demolition Man where they froze Sylvester Stallion and he was brought back with imprinted skills and essentially given a new life.

I wished that would happen for me. That I could be in some accident and left in a coma for a few years, and then I wake up and the whole world is different. I'd wake up and my body would be different. I'd be in a 10 year coma and while I was asleep my body would be altered .  I've had muscles, my eyesight would be perfect, I'd look attractive and I'd have a nice package . Id wake up and I would not want for anything. I'd find a great condo and buy it outright and just live my life. spend my days cultivating hobbies like playing the violin and learning piano. I'd practice yoga and meditation.

My personality would be one of a man at peace with himself. I'm quiet, calm, almost seductive. I'd have a career as a counselor .
I'd be the guy people would want to get to know and guys would want to have sex with.
I'd feel detached from my emotions to a degree.

I wouldn't have a need to be wanted or desired. I wouldn't feel depressed for being alone. I'd take solace in being alone. I'd spend my days by myself just enjoying life the way I choose to. I wouldn't need the attention of others. I'd be able to stand on my own two feet, be cool, calm , and collected.

I'd be this hard cold steel of a person. Not this gushing special Ed case that i come off like where I use nothing but witty sexual inappropriateness to make people laugh.

How can I be this person?
What can I do? What should I do?

My personality-
Putting other first before myself
Needy
To much relaying on others for emotional support
Scared of being Alone
 Not comfortable in my own skin

My Dream David-
Peaceful
Confidant
Relaying on myself
Comfortable Being Alone

I need to try and be the person I've dreamed of being. To be the man I see in my dreams. I need to bring him to life.