Usually these past few mornings I've woken up feeling depressed, anxious, like I don't want to face the world. This morning, I'm feeling anger, almost like I'm mad he still here. I'm angry that he's on this diet because it limits everything he can eat and there's not even a full meal plan set up yet. Plus the fact he has to pay her for whatever she's cooking or preparing for him. He's not prepared. That's the one thing I can't stand is when people are not prepared.
I think im also angry that because he's on this diet, I can't do anything or make anything that he can eat. It's the nurturing instinct in me. I was never much of a dietter, I always believed in somewhat portion control and excercise. This whole no carbs thing nearly made me drop dead so I've sworn off these fad diets. I hope it works out for him.. But jess needs to be more attentive.
It's a control issue, I can't control what he chooses to eat, all I can do is take care of me right.. But why am I feeling as if I'm in the wrong. Why am I ashamed to eat in front of him now? I'm being ridiculous.
Im looking forward to the day he leaves. I want him gone away from here with his fucked up diet, with his new love life and happy future. I want the peace that I've had these last few days back where I didn't have to worry about his needs.
That's what's I'm angry about.... It's his needs.. And now Bryant is awake. I hear the familiar text notification sound. Let him be Bryant's problem. I wish I could be somewhere else.
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