So where do I begin?
Do I write down the things I want to do, the things I'd like to do or the things I need to do. I don't want to start listing my problems because that would lead to me to self hatred. Even now, I'm fearing that putting the effort in would do more harm then good.
That's my biggest issue..putting in effort. I'm expecting someone to put in the effort for me. when I really need to do it for myself. So, I need to pick something to put effort into. Something which only I can control. what can i start doing?
Things I like to do: Things I would like to do:
Play video games Play Violin
Watching Movies Be more knowledgeable
Laugh Learn to read and retain more knowledge
Sex
I feel as if I don't have any skills, I've let myself go so much..I need to work on my mental and physical health. Since I've lost my gym membership and it will take time to get that back up to speed. I need to find some alternatives. But first, I need to pick one thing off this list of things I'd like to do and focus on that. And I think I will really start with...
Play Violin. it's been on my mind for so long, i've always started then lost interest and lost hope and I've had no one to encourage me. I have to encourage myself. I have to discipline myself. Even now, my mind is telling me to give up. but I need to fight it. Before I go to bed tonight i'm going to pull out my violin and see if everything is still in working order.
I must learn how to hear a note. I must train my brain to get strong again.
I will .
No comments:
Post a Comment