Giving up the drama.

I had a long talk with Alvin last night. And I've come to a decision. When I'm done paying off bob and Jerry; i'm going to end my friendship with both of them. I can't trust them anymore and other then bob being a bank for me, he hasn't added anything good into my life. I've been thinking about this for a very long time. Jerry is a nice guy and I'm happy for him that he has someone in his life that worship and adores him. But what does Jerry add to my life. Only times we ever spoke was if he had sex questions or needed to vent to me about his mothers disapproval of Luis.

What do they add to my life thats uplifting?

All bob talks about is how everyone's problems are effecting him and I'm bored by his conversations. He's stuck thinking about all his issues with others and his ex and reminding me of my past pains. truly nothing...were bonded by time. I still can't remember when was the last time I called him to just chat. the same with Jerry. Again, with Jerry we are only bonded by time.
I feel that the time i've spent away from them, i've had a sense of peace and less distraction to focus on myself and really feel what I need for my life to feel better.

The anti-depressants are working and i'm feeling more at peace with myself. I'm almost afraid to know what might happen when I run out. I'm hoping before the end of april I can get a doctor in place. I've stop smoking and I've stopped caring so much about getting attention from anyone.

I've been hanging out with Chris still and I haven't become obsessive and tony's been messaging me and i'm not jumping at the moment of messaging him right away.

He's going to be officially disconnected from me today. he's switching over to Sprint. I still feel as if I am acting cold towards him. That I feel that i'm so detached when I speak to him.
That's how i've been feeling lately since starting the meds. I'm not attach to my obsessive thoughts and emotions.

I'm finally starting to figure out what it means to be me. Alone, Single, by myself and I'm okay with it. I'm comfortable ..and I'm wanting to protect myself as much as possible.
Already Mike has ask and last night Ish has asked about being roommates. I shut both ideas down. I don't know why Im communicating with ISH, He hasn't shown any evidence that he would add anything positive in my life. I keep him at arms length